Boston,
You are a miracle my sweet boy. You defy all odds and I couldn't be prouder of you these days. You are talking up a storm. I would say you can say about 70-80 words and you are starting to combine two words. You look me in the eye as you take joy in the little things and your big brown eyes steal my heart!
You've started preschool at Kid's World and your teacher says you are so mellow and a sweet boy.
You are so so so smart Boston. You know your numbers 1-10 you know and recognize most of the alphabet, you know several shapes and you are working on colors and matching. You are headed for greatness sweetheart. Never let anyone tell you different. Doctors can say you have Aspergers/Autism and I hate to see you have any challenges I really do, but you will do anything you set your mind to and you have so many abilities!
I love how you blow kisses to me now and you are taking interest in your little sis. You are a sweet sweet boy and I love you from the top of your head to the tip of your toes!
Love Always and Forever,
Mommy
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
So Proud
Dear Boston,
I am so so so proud of you lately. First of all you are the best big brother. You are patient and kind. You give Jocelyn kisses and love to play with her hands. She will love you forever. Also, you have been increasing your vocabulary lately. You are doing almost everything you did before your regression and much more. This is a time that I sometimes wondered if it would ever come. You point to your nose, ears, teeth, eyes, belly and toes. You can say, no, go, bye, hi, juice,cat, truck, belly, eyes, ball, hat, shoes, duck, milk, Mom, cereal, bike, dog, boo, and Dad. That's 20 words!!
You are going to preschool now even though you are only two. I think you are loving it though now and tell me bye when I leave. Your teacher says you are making better eye contact and you sit at the table and do your work the entire time. That's pretty good for a 2 year old.
There is something so extraordinary about you Boston. You are a light in our lives. No one laughs like you or smiles like you. I love you exactly the way you are and feel so honored to have you call me Mom.
I love you baby boy.
Always and Forever,
Mom
I am so so so proud of you lately. First of all you are the best big brother. You are patient and kind. You give Jocelyn kisses and love to play with her hands. She will love you forever. Also, you have been increasing your vocabulary lately. You are doing almost everything you did before your regression and much more. This is a time that I sometimes wondered if it would ever come. You point to your nose, ears, teeth, eyes, belly and toes. You can say, no, go, bye, hi, juice,cat, truck, belly, eyes, ball, hat, shoes, duck, milk, Mom, cereal, bike, dog, boo, and Dad. That's 20 words!!
You are going to preschool now even though you are only two. I think you are loving it though now and tell me bye when I leave. Your teacher says you are making better eye contact and you sit at the table and do your work the entire time. That's pretty good for a 2 year old.
There is something so extraordinary about you Boston. You are a light in our lives. No one laughs like you or smiles like you. I love you exactly the way you are and feel so honored to have you call me Mom.
I love you baby boy.
Always and Forever,
Mom
Monday, August 4, 2008
Don't Ever Loose those Chubby Cheeks!
Dear Boston,
I've been holding you a little tighter these days. Your baby sister will be here within the next 9 days and I am terrified of your reaction to her!! You are so used to it just being the two of us. You are a Momma's boy and I love it. You don't even like it when I hold other people's babies so I know you will be mad at me for awhile when I bring one of our own home. I know in time you will grow to love her though. She will be one of your best friends throughout your life and I hope you will always stand by each other and support each other. I am so glad that you will be so close in age and close in school.
Mommy and Daddy have been on a bit of a rollercoaster ride lately. Mommy worries about you baby boy. I've noticed that you aren't talking like the other two year olds around us and I want to help you. We took you up to a doctor a couple weeks ago and he told us you have a spectrum disorder. This makes speech, and social interactions difficult for you. Keep in mind sweetheart that Doctors label almost everyone these days. We all have something, we all have challenges in this life. Grandpa Cash has to take shots everyday to control his diabetes, Mommy has to take anti-depressants, and really Boston I think you and I are a lot a like. I'm sorry about that because I've been through a lot and I don't want you to have to travel the same roads I have. You have a wonderful personality though Boston and I know that with our love and if you just be true to who you are you will go so far. You are making AMAZING improvments on your non-verbal communication and you love to pull up my shirt and say "belly" (I think you will miss it when it is gone!) You have said hat and ball over the last couple weeks and I am determined that by the time you are in school no one will ever know you had a struggle.
We love you Boston exactly the way you are. I wish I could protect you from all the hard things in this life, I wish I could keep you in a bubble and that you would never experience pain or sorrow but I can't keep you from these things. I will always be there though with a hug and a kiss. If you are ever feeling lonely or sad or angry or you just need to talk I will stand by you and you can come to Daddy and I anytime. You will get through this and we will be cheering you on throughout your life!
Lately when I put you down for a nap or to bed at night you look me in the eyes and say "bye" your voice is so sweet and it's just like you are saying "I love you Mommy." Your sweet spirit says it all.
I'll love you forever,
Mommy
I've been holding you a little tighter these days. Your baby sister will be here within the next 9 days and I am terrified of your reaction to her!! You are so used to it just being the two of us. You are a Momma's boy and I love it. You don't even like it when I hold other people's babies so I know you will be mad at me for awhile when I bring one of our own home. I know in time you will grow to love her though. She will be one of your best friends throughout your life and I hope you will always stand by each other and support each other. I am so glad that you will be so close in age and close in school.
Mommy and Daddy have been on a bit of a rollercoaster ride lately. Mommy worries about you baby boy. I've noticed that you aren't talking like the other two year olds around us and I want to help you. We took you up to a doctor a couple weeks ago and he told us you have a spectrum disorder. This makes speech, and social interactions difficult for you. Keep in mind sweetheart that Doctors label almost everyone these days. We all have something, we all have challenges in this life. Grandpa Cash has to take shots everyday to control his diabetes, Mommy has to take anti-depressants, and really Boston I think you and I are a lot a like. I'm sorry about that because I've been through a lot and I don't want you to have to travel the same roads I have. You have a wonderful personality though Boston and I know that with our love and if you just be true to who you are you will go so far. You are making AMAZING improvments on your non-verbal communication and you love to pull up my shirt and say "belly" (I think you will miss it when it is gone!) You have said hat and ball over the last couple weeks and I am determined that by the time you are in school no one will ever know you had a struggle.
We love you Boston exactly the way you are. I wish I could protect you from all the hard things in this life, I wish I could keep you in a bubble and that you would never experience pain or sorrow but I can't keep you from these things. I will always be there though with a hug and a kiss. If you are ever feeling lonely or sad or angry or you just need to talk I will stand by you and you can come to Daddy and I anytime. You will get through this and we will be cheering you on throughout your life!
Lately when I put you down for a nap or to bed at night you look me in the eyes and say "bye" your voice is so sweet and it's just like you are saying "I love you Mommy." Your sweet spirit says it all.
I'll love you forever,
Mommy
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Almost at those "Terrible" Two's!
Dear Sweet Boston Boy,
Happy 23 months!!
I'll admitt... it's been a little rough lately. I think you finally slept pretty good last night. I went in and checked on you just before I left for work (about 3:15am). You looked so cute and snuggly in your little blue striped pj's from Children's Place that finally fit you! You have been getting your two-year old molars and have been so miserable. You've had a temperature off and on and have been sleeping horribly. You've been ornery and Bossy!! I wish you would talk to me, instead of pulling and pushing me everywhere but you just simply don't want to talk yet. You have your own little jibber-jabber we like to call "Bostoniese!" It is very cute and very unique... just like you, but I will be so happy if you decide to start using English! I think you will be less frustrated too; it must get tiring always coming to get my hand and pull me to show me what you want.
I feel so responsible for everything about you. I'm afraid you have watched too much TV and that has played a role in your speech delay. (But you love Curious George oh so much!) I am so sorry I have been so tired. I am not going back to my radio job after your sister is born and I hope it helps me have more energy to keep up with you two! Speaking of your sister, she's going to be here in about 2 1/2 months and I really worry about how you will react to her. I don't know if you know or understand at all what is about to happen and how it will change our family, but I promise as hard as it will be for you to share your time with with me with Jocey, you will Love her someday. I want you to also always know that I will never be too busy for you. I may not have time to let you pull me everywhere to get everything you want; you may need to learn to talk and you may need to learn to "have patience!" but when you really need me I will be there and you can have a hug and a kiss any time you want.
Aunt Hayley and cousin Jack are coming to town tomorrow and Grammy Cash is coming for the weekend. We want to take you to the zoo and I hope you love it. (it has to be a better experience than last time when you got a horrible rash within the first 10 minutes of our arrival!!)
Please know Bossy boy how much I love you. I know I worry. It's part of being a Mommy. I'm sorry I get frustrated and you get frustrated; but thanks for always coming to me in the end and putting your head on my shoulder. Your sweet cheeks always make everything better!
I love you forever,
Mommy
Happy 23 months!!
I'll admitt... it's been a little rough lately. I think you finally slept pretty good last night. I went in and checked on you just before I left for work (about 3:15am). You looked so cute and snuggly in your little blue striped pj's from Children's Place that finally fit you! You have been getting your two-year old molars and have been so miserable. You've had a temperature off and on and have been sleeping horribly. You've been ornery and Bossy!! I wish you would talk to me, instead of pulling and pushing me everywhere but you just simply don't want to talk yet. You have your own little jibber-jabber we like to call "Bostoniese!" It is very cute and very unique... just like you, but I will be so happy if you decide to start using English! I think you will be less frustrated too; it must get tiring always coming to get my hand and pull me to show me what you want.
I feel so responsible for everything about you. I'm afraid you have watched too much TV and that has played a role in your speech delay. (But you love Curious George oh so much!) I am so sorry I have been so tired. I am not going back to my radio job after your sister is born and I hope it helps me have more energy to keep up with you two! Speaking of your sister, she's going to be here in about 2 1/2 months and I really worry about how you will react to her. I don't know if you know or understand at all what is about to happen and how it will change our family, but I promise as hard as it will be for you to share your time with with me with Jocey, you will Love her someday. I want you to also always know that I will never be too busy for you. I may not have time to let you pull me everywhere to get everything you want; you may need to learn to talk and you may need to learn to "have patience!" but when you really need me I will be there and you can have a hug and a kiss any time you want.
Aunt Hayley and cousin Jack are coming to town tomorrow and Grammy Cash is coming for the weekend. We want to take you to the zoo and I hope you love it. (it has to be a better experience than last time when you got a horrible rash within the first 10 minutes of our arrival!!)
Please know Bossy boy how much I love you. I know I worry. It's part of being a Mommy. I'm sorry I get frustrated and you get frustrated; but thanks for always coming to me in the end and putting your head on my shoulder. Your sweet cheeks always make everything better!
I love you forever,
Mommy
Saturday, March 8, 2008
My Little Cuddle Bug
Dear Boston,
Today is a Saturday and although you usually wake me up earlier than I would like, I LOVE getting you out of bed in the morning when I get to. You are so snuggly and sweet. This morning you laid on my chest for awhile as we watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse together. It is moments like that that remind me how lucky I am to be your Mother. I am so lucky that you are alive and healthy. You are such a joy to me. I love how you share my cereal with me in the mornings when I get home from work. I love how you pull me into our closet and want to shut the door and pretend it's our cave. I love how you always want to make honey sandwiches.
You've been wanting to help so much lately. You want to help me mop and do laundry and load/unload the dishwasher. Your sweet little efforts are so amazing.
It's been nice to have some warmer weather lately so we can go to the park and play. It's funny how you love the little patches of snow that are left. You love to walk on them and hear the crunching sound. You hated the snow when there was a ton of it, but perhaps those little patches aren't so intimidating.
We found out last week that you are going to have a little sister. We want to name her Jocelyn and I hope and pray that you two will become the best of friends. I hope and pray that she will grow strong and healthy in my tummy like you did. I know you will be an amazing big brother, but please know that you will always be my baby. You'll grow big someday and you won't cuddle with me on the couch, but I hope you never get too big to give your Mom a hug. I love you sweetheart and I am so grateful to spend each and everyday with you.
Love,
Mommy
Monday, February 4, 2008
Is It Enough to Just be Your Mommy?
Dear Boston,
I am struggling right now. Struggling with something that has lingered in my head almost my entire life. I know you don't truly realize that I am carrying your brother or sister to be, although you are fascinated with my tummy; but with this new change in our family awaiting I am filled with anxiety. A huge part of me wants to quit my morning job as a radio traffic/news girl to stay home with my babies. I want to be there every time you cry, every time you smile. I know you will only be little once and I don't want to miss out on that. At the same time I am so filled with worry that someday your friends will ask you, " What does your Mom do?" and you will have to answer.. "She just stays home and cooks and cleans and stuff." I want to be someone for you. I feel I owe you that and yet I owe you every ounce of my time. I suppose in my mind it seems "cooler" to say "My Mom is on the radio." I feel like you would be prouder of me if you could say that.
I'll admit I have been lucky in my field. I had a job before I even graduated college and I have been with the same station (101 5 the Eagle) with others rotating and they've always seemed happy with my work even if I am not satisfied with myself. I thought I had it all figured out. Daddy and I are building a studio in the basement and I've planned on doing voice-over work from home after your sibling is born. I simply dread the idea of getting up at 3:30 am and getting up with your brother or sister during the night. Maybe I need to be stronger but this has seemed like a good idea. Until now. I lost a job tonight. A voice-over gig that I thought was in the bag. The first thing that came to my mind was "I don't want Boston to be disappointed in me. " Now I am so filled with self doubt. I NEVER want you to be embarrassed of me. I want you to be proud of me. I know this is only one job but it makes me feel like maybe I don't have what it takes in this industry. I'm not perfect. I wish I was, but I am not.
So honey please know that I am trying constantly to impress you and Daddy. I want to be the best person I can be for you. I want you to stand tall when you say "That's my Mommy!" because I will always be sooooooooooooooo proud of you. You amaze me from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. I haven't been a perfect Mommy to you in anyway but please know that my best of intentions have always been put out there. I may not always do things right in Motherhood or business but I know I did something right in having you.
Please forgive me for my imperfections. I love you Forever. I'll like you for Always. As long as I'm living my Baby you'll be.
xoxoxox
Mommy
I am struggling right now. Struggling with something that has lingered in my head almost my entire life. I know you don't truly realize that I am carrying your brother or sister to be, although you are fascinated with my tummy; but with this new change in our family awaiting I am filled with anxiety. A huge part of me wants to quit my morning job as a radio traffic/news girl to stay home with my babies. I want to be there every time you cry, every time you smile. I know you will only be little once and I don't want to miss out on that. At the same time I am so filled with worry that someday your friends will ask you, " What does your Mom do?" and you will have to answer.. "She just stays home and cooks and cleans and stuff." I want to be someone for you. I feel I owe you that and yet I owe you every ounce of my time. I suppose in my mind it seems "cooler" to say "My Mom is on the radio." I feel like you would be prouder of me if you could say that.
I'll admit I have been lucky in my field. I had a job before I even graduated college and I have been with the same station (101 5 the Eagle) with others rotating and they've always seemed happy with my work even if I am not satisfied with myself. I thought I had it all figured out. Daddy and I are building a studio in the basement and I've planned on doing voice-over work from home after your sibling is born. I simply dread the idea of getting up at 3:30 am and getting up with your brother or sister during the night. Maybe I need to be stronger but this has seemed like a good idea. Until now. I lost a job tonight. A voice-over gig that I thought was in the bag. The first thing that came to my mind was "I don't want Boston to be disappointed in me. " Now I am so filled with self doubt. I NEVER want you to be embarrassed of me. I want you to be proud of me. I know this is only one job but it makes me feel like maybe I don't have what it takes in this industry. I'm not perfect. I wish I was, but I am not.
So honey please know that I am trying constantly to impress you and Daddy. I want to be the best person I can be for you. I want you to stand tall when you say "That's my Mommy!" because I will always be sooooooooooooooo proud of you. You amaze me from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. I haven't been a perfect Mommy to you in anyway but please know that my best of intentions have always been put out there. I may not always do things right in Motherhood or business but I know I did something right in having you.
Please forgive me for my imperfections. I love you Forever. I'll like you for Always. As long as I'm living my Baby you'll be.
xoxoxox
Mommy
Monday, January 28, 2008
New Teeth and Battles in Toddlerland
Dear Boston,
I love you sweetheart! I'm worried about you this morning because it was really stormy last night while we were all trying to sleep. The windows kept rattling and the wind was howling. I kept thinking I would hear you wake up crying time and time again, but you didn't. I hope you weren't tossing and turning like Daddy and I were. I never want you to be scared and I always want you to get the precious rest you need.
You've had troubles sleeping lately and I actually stormed into your room and yelled at you the other night and for that I am so so so sorry. I have never really yelled at you before, I was just so exhausted and frustrated. I don't know if you are having nightmares or what, but I just want you to sleep so you'll be happy and can play. Please forgive me for loosing my temper. I'll try so hard not to do it again and I will make you a PROMISE that I will never spank you. Daddy and I don't believe in that and we never want you to think that it's ok to hit because it's not!
Yesterday was a hard day. Your two top molars are poking through, and you have a double eye infection... you were miserable. Grandma and Grandpa Cash came up to visit for the weekend. We went to church, but you were too scared to go to nursery by yourself. (I don't blame you, the teachers aren't very friendly!!) Grammy and I stayed with you and then we went home early. You had a really rough night on Saturday night and you were sooooo tired. You felt right asleep on Daddy's shoulder as he carried you in. (You never do that!) You took a nap before you even ate lunch, then you woke up so upset and we wanted so much to bring you comfort. Daddy finally got you to fall back asleep on his shoulder. We usually like you to fall asleep on your own, and really you know no other way, but we could tell you just didn't feel good. All you wanted to do was snuggle and color all day. You hardly ate a thing, which always makes me worry but I know you'll be okay. We watched "The Tigger Movie" for the first time and you laughed so sweetly.
Uncle CJ and his friend Kate came over last night and even though you were shy at first you were so cute showing off your "choo choo" train sound and airplane sound. You know and point to your eyes and your nose and you know what the cow, sheep, and doggie say. You are so smart! You are also fasinated by your belly as well as Mom's these days! I worry about the little baby growing in my tummy and I hope so much that you will love your little brother or sister and I want you to know I will always love you just as much as ever.
President Gordon B. Hinckley passed away last night. It makes me sad that you will never know him because he was such a funny, charitable, compassionate, and accepting man. I've been struggling with religion a lot lately. I was born Mormon and I feel as if its just been passed to me instead of me learning to believe or disbelive it for myself. I feel like if I wasn't Mormon I wouldn't be accepted in our community. I NEVER want you to feel that way. I want you to make choices for yourself and I want you to know that I will always LOVE you know matter what you decide you believe in. I want you to be kind and good to other people and animals, I want you to love yourself and achieve your dreams but I don't care if you believe exactly as I do or anyone else. I want to figure this out though in my heart so I can tell you I stand for something. President Hinckley was a wonderful man though no matter what religious background you come from and I hope to tell you about him someday.
Boston, I know it is normal for kids your age to have "separation anxiety" but I just want you to know that I will always be there for you and I never want you to be scared. I was shy like you as a kid and it was so hard for me. I had a hard time making friends and worried when my parents left all the time. I want you to know that I will be there whenever I can be, but there will be times that I have to leave your side and there will be times that I have to give you a little nudge into this big world but I will always come back and I will be there in an instant if you ever really need me.
I am trying to work out this work thing because I HATE leaving you in the morning. I want to make some money and I realize I do need some "Me" time but I don't like leaving you. I hope I can be successful at doing voice-work from home because I want to help out Daddy and I want you to be proud of me. Most of all I want to be the best Mommy to you that I know how to be.
Love you Forever
xoxoxoxo
Mommy
I love you sweetheart! I'm worried about you this morning because it was really stormy last night while we were all trying to sleep. The windows kept rattling and the wind was howling. I kept thinking I would hear you wake up crying time and time again, but you didn't. I hope you weren't tossing and turning like Daddy and I were. I never want you to be scared and I always want you to get the precious rest you need.
You've had troubles sleeping lately and I actually stormed into your room and yelled at you the other night and for that I am so so so sorry. I have never really yelled at you before, I was just so exhausted and frustrated. I don't know if you are having nightmares or what, but I just want you to sleep so you'll be happy and can play. Please forgive me for loosing my temper. I'll try so hard not to do it again and I will make you a PROMISE that I will never spank you. Daddy and I don't believe in that and we never want you to think that it's ok to hit because it's not!
Yesterday was a hard day. Your two top molars are poking through, and you have a double eye infection... you were miserable. Grandma and Grandpa Cash came up to visit for the weekend. We went to church, but you were too scared to go to nursery by yourself. (I don't blame you, the teachers aren't very friendly!!) Grammy and I stayed with you and then we went home early. You had a really rough night on Saturday night and you were sooooo tired. You felt right asleep on Daddy's shoulder as he carried you in. (You never do that!) You took a nap before you even ate lunch, then you woke up so upset and we wanted so much to bring you comfort. Daddy finally got you to fall back asleep on his shoulder. We usually like you to fall asleep on your own, and really you know no other way, but we could tell you just didn't feel good. All you wanted to do was snuggle and color all day. You hardly ate a thing, which always makes me worry but I know you'll be okay. We watched "The Tigger Movie" for the first time and you laughed so sweetly.
Uncle CJ and his friend Kate came over last night and even though you were shy at first you were so cute showing off your "choo choo" train sound and airplane sound. You know and point to your eyes and your nose and you know what the cow, sheep, and doggie say. You are so smart! You are also fasinated by your belly as well as Mom's these days! I worry about the little baby growing in my tummy and I hope so much that you will love your little brother or sister and I want you to know I will always love you just as much as ever.
President Gordon B. Hinckley passed away last night. It makes me sad that you will never know him because he was such a funny, charitable, compassionate, and accepting man. I've been struggling with religion a lot lately. I was born Mormon and I feel as if its just been passed to me instead of me learning to believe or disbelive it for myself. I feel like if I wasn't Mormon I wouldn't be accepted in our community. I NEVER want you to feel that way. I want you to make choices for yourself and I want you to know that I will always LOVE you know matter what you decide you believe in. I want you to be kind and good to other people and animals, I want you to love yourself and achieve your dreams but I don't care if you believe exactly as I do or anyone else. I want to figure this out though in my heart so I can tell you I stand for something. President Hinckley was a wonderful man though no matter what religious background you come from and I hope to tell you about him someday.
Boston, I know it is normal for kids your age to have "separation anxiety" but I just want you to know that I will always be there for you and I never want you to be scared. I was shy like you as a kid and it was so hard for me. I had a hard time making friends and worried when my parents left all the time. I want you to know that I will be there whenever I can be, but there will be times that I have to leave your side and there will be times that I have to give you a little nudge into this big world but I will always come back and I will be there in an instant if you ever really need me.
I am trying to work out this work thing because I HATE leaving you in the morning. I want to make some money and I realize I do need some "Me" time but I don't like leaving you. I hope I can be successful at doing voice-work from home because I want to help out Daddy and I want you to be proud of me. Most of all I want to be the best Mommy to you that I know how to be.
Love you Forever
xoxoxoxo
Mommy
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